I wrestled with the idea of posting
this blog for several days but ultimately decided to because I want
people to understand more about me and my journey to becoming
healthy.
I was born into a alcohol dependent
family. Everyone drank and not on just special occasions, so it was
no surprise to me when I started drinking at the early age of 14.
Social drinking was the norm where I grew up and it was rather easy
to obtain as I had a very understanding parent.
At the age of 19 I joined the Army and
off I went to training. My drinking opportunities were
understandably few and far in between so when the chance arose, I
would use the time to get falling down drunk. Once at my permanent
duty station I had several roommates that were of age so again
drinking was easy and also being stationed in southern California it
was quite easy to just go across the border and party.
On my 21st birthday my
fellow soldiers and I went on a 2 day bender to celebrate and my
drink of choice became Corona with a fresh slice of lime in it. Even
after the service this continued to be my favorite beer though I did
drink others when the need arose due to money and such.
My drinking continued to get heavier
and while in college I am embarrassed to say that I would have to
hide a six-pack of beer in my backpack and go to the bathrooms and
drink just to get through class.
After graduation I got engaged and my
drinking continued but I was lucky to have a woman that understood
though that would change.
On one particular evening during an
Eagles game I went to a new time low. I punched threw a door, threw
a chair across the room when my team lost. Now my wife(as were
married at this point) was expecting with our daughter and this was
the straw that finally broke.
She confronted me and gave me an
ultimatum, either it was my drinking or her and the baby. This is
when I knew what I was, an alcoholic. There was no hesitation at all
and I vowed to her to never drink again and take it one day at a
time.
It has now been 7 years and I am still
sober. I don't regret the decision to quite drinking and have no
desire to even have it. There are still places that I can't go (bars
and such) while being by myself because the know the temptation is
there. I have lost friends due to my choice but am a better person
without it.
Why am I telling this story? Well if
you follow my face book page on a regular basis you will know that I
have recently began drinking lemon/lime water and other fruit/herb
infused waters. Well most of the time my wife has made the waters
for me for one reason or another but this weekend I poured the last
glass and decided to make more.
I cut the lemons up, squeezed them and
put them in the water and then cut up the limes and did the same. It
was when I smelled my hands with the fresh lime all over them that
the urge was there and I found my hands even shaking. My wife walked
into the kitchen to see this and asked what was wrong. I told her
and she and I just talked and she finished making the water for me.
It was truly then that I realized that
I will forever be a recovering alcoholic and that I must be very
careful.
Thanks for sharing. A wife that understands, loves and stands behind her husband is certainly worthy of cherishing. So much of what you generally share is about overcoming the mental and sometimes even spiritual to achieve better health. The battle is never with the scale, but with the demons in our past, in our pantry and in our bottle. The scale is just there to help provide a metric to determine if we are winning the battle today. By airing your confession today, you delivered a mighty blow to the demon in the bottle. Did you win the war? No, maybe not, but you found fellow warriors who will continue to help you fight. Thanks for sharing.
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